Brother Bear

There once lived a family of bears on Robinson street. The family consisted of a daddy bear, a momma bear, three sister bears and a brother bear; each family member had their own happy and sad stories to tell. This little story is the story of brother bear. 

Brother bear can be considered a black bear for his preference of solitude. Or he can be considered an aggressive grizzly bear if he feels threatened. He is possibly a polar bear being forced to survive in his environment. One might say he is a panda bear for the tattoo on his arm and his Asian persuasion. If you asked me I would even call him a Kanye-esque “The College Dropout” bear that might be somewhere listening to “Through the Wire”. Let’s just say, he’s a complex bear. 
Although brother bear has had many a stories to tell, today’s story is one moment of a lifetime. Once upon a time brother bear and little sister bear went to a festival. The music was flowing, the energy was palpable. The sibling bears could almost taste the…


Guess who’s back?! Back again! 
Today I celebrate my 29th time around the sun and my motto for this birthday is to go out of my roaring 20’s with a BANG! I used to be someone who looked at my life’s glass as half-empty, telling myself things like, “when you get you will be happy...when you do you will be happy...” and sometimes in the process I forget to take a step back and realize all of life’s wonders that were already filling my cup with joy. I’m happy to report that I’m not a sour puss anymore! I am filled with immense gratitude and learning to live in the now rather than forecasting for future happiness.

My birthday wish is simple, I wish for: a year full of the same sort of energy that got me through my early 20’s; an ever evolving sense of self-love and understanding; a strong bond with my loved ones; a fresh perspective when trying to overcome challenges; for gratitude to be my attitude; to do things that I enjoy, like writing; and finally, to  live this yea…

Nothing But Bhangra

Once upon a time there was a blossoming young brown girl who loved to dance. By no means was this girl a dancing queen. She was barely able to coordinate her lanky arms and legs to a decent rhythm. But dancing melted away the awkward adolescent years. Dancing was a way to connect to her roots. It was a way for her to make friends. The young girl loved this hobby, it fulfilled her like the music filling her ears. All through out childhood she had memories of going round and round in a circle of women clapping and twirling and singing along in exuberance. She couldn't remember the exact moment she first stepped into the dance circle, it could have been during a family wedding or at her home when the aunties turned the boom box on after dinner. What a glorious moment it must have been! The moment a young girl learned to become one with her body and culture.

Memories of dance practice in a school ground, giggling with a group of nervous girls getting ready to perform; getting yelled …

Fire-breathing Dragon

After detaching myself from social media and taking the first tiny baby steps towards understanding myself, I have come to a few rudimentary AHA! realizations. Right now I am focusing on a part of my authentic self that comes alive as a fire-breathing dragon. When this part of my personality is awake and in charge, every living being is afraid to approach me because I have smoke coming out of my nostrils and I WILL torch anyone to smithereens. I don't just blast people with my blazing fire, I then eat them and make it known that I will not go down without a full fledged fight. This version of myself is the hardest to control and I become an untamable beast. Lets call dragon Gags what she is - a scary bitch!

My journey in the realm of adulting means taming my inner bitchy beast. If I am honest, I doubt I will ever be able to fully tame her, but I can watch out for her and train her to at least not burn people to crisp. I make my beast sound badass but the truth is, it's a beas…

When it Rains it Pours

When it rains it pours
Pours like tears streaming down your cheeks
Unable to turn the faucet off
Tears for all reasons.
Someone says it's going to be okay
Are you able to hear that affirmation?
Or is it just lost in the fog after the rain
The fog that takes over your brain
The haze blankets clarity.
The feelings are as varied as individual vapors of fog
Loneliness is magnified, it's dark and quiet.
Fear comes alive and spreads like a fire
This fire demolishes everything
Ashes like 9/11
Ground Zero is what you are staring at.
Is it possible to rebuild and be even stronger, you don't know
The uncertainty is a slow suffocation
Like the fumes that disable you
The flames are in the distance, the fire is a force you cannot control.
A voice tells you to let the pain in
Let others rescue you from the inferno
Can you find me in the fog and ashes?
Here is my plea for love and support.
Or maybe this is meant to be a lonely path.
If you believe in God and miracles and faith
You ar…

I Can Do All Things

I can do all things, no not through Christ, but through my own enduring soul. There are days, weeks even months where it might feel like no I can't do all things, I can't even do one small thing, but still I persist. The greatest threat to success is my own doubt and lethargy; since doubt and lethargy exist only in my head, I have the power to disrupt them. I might stare at a pair of jeans that fit my ass perfectly last fall and now won't zip up and hear the little voice in my brain viciously attacking. I might open up an incomplete document at work and the critical thoughts might scatter across my forehead like commuters in traffic. For an outwardly chill and confident person, I might not seem like I deal with the burden of negative self-talk. Imagine being at the gym at the squat rack, trying to push back up after you put on way too much weight. It feels like your body is physically incapable, it feels panicky and mostly it feels like someone is watching and laughing at …

Davis Dayzzzz

Let's talk about life as it was 10 years back. What kind of Gagan was the world dealing with a decade ago? Tall, lanky, freshly faced with independence and adulthood. Its Fall time and a nervous energy starts taking over. What is college going to be like? Will I make friends? Is homesickness going to consume me? On day one of moving into the dorms, another tall lanky Punjabi girl comes up to me and out of nowhere knows exactly who I am, where I'm coming from and feels we have too much in common to not be friends - fast forward 10 years and she marries her college sweetheart, all of us day one dorm girls celebrating with her.

Living on an all girls floor of the dorms - rushing to class, skipping class to sleep, making lifelong friends - all of it is a blur of laughs, stress, and occasional drama. We get in food fights, covering the walls of our dorm in chocolate syrup and ketchup. We drive to Denny's at 3am, two people stuffed into the trunk, ordering cheese fries until ou…