Musings of an 80's Baby

Do you ever have so much energy and excitement for something that it 100% consumes you, only to see it slowly fizzle out? Picture a shaken up bottle of soda, or a tea kettle on a hot stove, or a firecracker bursting, loud and full of light before disappearing into the night. That is basically me when it comes to most things I am passionate about, including reading and writing, even this very blog. I find so much joy in writing but the minute it starts feeling like a task on a to-do list, my excitement takes a turn towards anxiety and I never fully recover. If I tell myself, 'You have to post every Monday, because, like "Monday Musings" is so catchy..' then every Monday morning I wake up feeling like I have my work cut out for me. Don't get me wrong, almost all of my posts were written in one session, on a Monday morning, about whatever happened to be on my mind at the moment. Even if writing sometimes felt like a task, I was still satisfied enough with my mornin...

I have a vague memory of a man on an airplane who left a lasting impression in the span of two hours. I was on my way to the European vacation of a lifetime that started off with a short flight to Denver before the cross-Atlantic leg. I usually prefer sitting next to family or friends that I am travelling with but on this particular flight I was sitting next to a stranger. The first thing I noticed about the stranger was that he immediately took out a small, worn out journal once we sat down. He began writing in the journal which was sitting on his lap horizontally; he was jotting things down in random order, not meant to follow a lined paper route. His pen was full of midnight colored ink that made every word jump off the page in 3D. Every so often he stopped and stared at the page as if pondering the meaning of his own words. His writing hand was full of rings that were spectacularly one of a kind. Each ring had its own personality and immeasurable valu...

She grows from her own ashes, constantly reborn as the ageless cycle of life and death. At her essence she is a survivor, bursting into flames and still rising up. She embodies resiliency. She fights the fire, not allowing it to consume her. She spreads her wings as she takes flight, glinting in molten gold. Each feather sizzles in embers. Just as the sun always rises, so will she ignite. No fear of combustion or the swirls of smoke. She emerges from the slow burn radiating warmth and light. She is as beautiful as she is dangerous.

Mom's hundreds of voicemails are saved on girl's phone because A) mom is practically the only one who calls and B) girl likes to listen to mom's voice whenever she needs some of mom's warmth. Mom is vibrant and fiery and works harder than girl ever could. Girl thinks mom overworks herself but mom is just mom, and working three jobs is just what mom does. Mom travels and if you get the honor of traveling with her, you see a version of her soul that is happiest and most carefree. That version of mom is the most authentic and bright. Girl also sees mom when she's tired and barely has the energy to trudge up the stairs after God knows how many hours on her feet. Girl wishes she could let mom rest, uninterrupted by the demands of life. Mom never complains, even though she has a hundred rightful reasons to. Girl is pretty damn sure she would be complaining if she were in mom's shoes, but still mom never does. Mom has inner strength that defies modern science. How can ...

Note to my high school self (Inspired by watching '13 Reasons Why') Dear Me, High school is an interesting time. Everything is changing and friends feel more important than pretty much anything else. Life is a pendulum of school related stress and carefree sleepovers. Every year you have an increasing amount of freedom and fun with your clique. Every year there are moments of embarrassment and drama.  My advice to you is this: Stop being petty and gossiping about others. You don't know what someone else is going through. Try to imagine why someone acts and reacts the way they do. Maybe they are living through hell and your rude AIM remarks will make their day even worse.  Empathize with the person sitting by themselves, maybe for them getting up and making it to school feels like a ginormous task. Realize how lucky you are that that isn't you.  You have no right to judge what someone else does. You might find yourself doing the same things one day. Alwa...

Being 1st generation American in an immigrant family is like being the actualization of your parents' dreams. Families uproot from their native homes in search of something better, sacrificing everything they know for an uncertain future in a foreign land. Growing up, you constantly hear your relatives speak of their homeland with so much longing and nostalgia . "Home" is something completely different to them now. How do they handle the juxtaposition of their American life with memories  about the home they were raised in? They do whatever they have to do to survive in their new environment. They form a community and try so hard to hold on to the values and traditions of their culture. The desire to remember their roots binds that community deeply. Acts of defiance look like someone never learning English or how to drive or eating the same thing for breakfast, lunch and dinner. It feels like a safe bubble to raise children in. Then we are born. And we are raised in a...

Let me be that motivational voice in your head for a second. It's Monday, it's gloomy outside, the weekend is over, you got 48039722 things to do..but I want you to forget about all those problems and GO GET SHIT DONE! Life is too damn short to dwell on the small stuff and forget to LIVE. Take a moment this week to go out and do whatever it is that makes your soul dance. Put on some bomb ass music and let that shit move you. Move your hips to the beat and sing along all loud and obnoxious. Feel it!!!! Call the people that bring a smile to your face, tell them how dope they are. All the unnecessary bullshit is for the birds. Make unforgettable memories. Relive those epic moments that still make you catch your breath. Next time you stress over something unimportant, stop yourself! What are you worried about? You are ALIVE aren't you? If you are healthy and able and have basic necessities, please take a moment of reflection to be GRATEFUL. All those crazy ass dreams you h...