Musings of an 80's Baby

She grows from her own ashes, constantly reborn as the ageless cycle of life and death. At her essence she is a survivor, bursting into flames and still rising up. She embodies resiliency. She fights the fire, not allowing it to consume her. She spreads her wings as she takes flight, glinting in molten gold. Each feather sizzles in embers. Just as the sun always rises, so will she ignite. No fear of combustion or the swirls of smoke. She emerges from the slow burn radiating warmth and light. She is as beautiful as she is dangerous.

Mom's hundreds of voicemails are saved on girl's phone because A) mom is practically the only one who calls and B) girl likes to listen to mom's voice whenever she needs some of mom's warmth. Mom is vibrant and fiery and works harder than girl ever could. Girl thinks mom overworks herself but mom is just mom, and working three jobs is just what mom does. Mom travels and if you get the honor of traveling with her, you see a version of her soul that is happiest and most carefree. That version of mom is the most authentic and bright. Girl also sees mom when she's tired and barely has the energy to trudge up the stairs after God knows how many hours on her feet. Girl wishes she could let mom rest, uninterrupted by the demands of life. Mom never complains, even though she has a hundred rightful reasons to. Girl is pretty damn sure she would be complaining if she were in mom's shoes, but still mom never does. Mom has inner strength that defies modern science. How can

Note to my high school self (Inspired by watching '13 Reasons Why') Dear Me, High school is an interesting time. Everything is changing and friends feel more important than pretty much anything else. Life is a pendulum of school related stress and carefree sleepovers. Every year you have an increasing amount of freedom and fun with your clique. Every year there are moments of embarrassment and drama.  My advice to you is this: Stop being petty and gossiping about others. You don't know what someone else is going through. Try to imagine why someone acts and reacts the way they do. Maybe they are living through hell and your rude AIM remarks will make their day even worse.  Empathize with the person sitting by themselves, maybe for them getting up and making it to school feels like a ginormous task. Realize how lucky you are that that isn't you.  You have no right to judge what someone else does. You might find yourself doing the same things one day. Alwa

Being 1st generation American in an immigrant family is like being the actualization of your parents' dreams. Families uproot from their native homes in search of something better, sacrificing everything they know for an uncertain future in a foreign land. Growing up, you constantly hear your relatives speak of their homeland with so much longing and nostalgia . "Home" is something completely different to them now. How do they handle the juxtaposition of their American life with memories  about the home they were raised in? They do whatever they have to do to survive in their new environment. They form a community and try so hard to hold on to the values and traditions of their culture. The desire to remember their roots binds that community deeply. Acts of defiance look like someone never learning English or how to drive or eating the same thing for breakfast, lunch and dinner. It feels like a safe bubble to raise children in. Then we are born. And we are raised in a