Note to Self

Note to my high school self (Inspired by watching '13 Reasons Why')

Dear Me,

High school is an interesting time. Everything is changing and friends feel more important than pretty much anything else. Life is a pendulum of school related stress and carefree sleepovers. Every year you have an increasing amount of freedom and fun with your clique. Every year there are moments of embarrassment and drama. 

My advice to you is this: Stop being petty and gossiping about others. You don't know what someone else is going through. Try to imagine why someone acts and reacts the way they do. Maybe they are living through hell and your rude AIM remarks will make their day even worse. Empathize with the person sitting by themselves, maybe for them getting up and making it to school feels like a ginormous task. Realize how lucky you are that that isn't you. 

You have no right to judge what someone else does. You might find yourself doing the same things one day. Always be the bigger person. It doesn't require much to participate in gossip, it's easy and fun time-pass. It requires compassion and grace to spend your time focused on your own life instead of the lives of others. 

Appreciate your circle of friends. The fact that you have love and social support is incredible. People come into your life for a reason and leave a lasting impression. Carry that support and imbue it into your adult relationships. Hold on to those bouts of uncontrollable laughter and moments of true connectedness. Those positive relationships will make you a better woman.

Years from now, when someone tells you how much you've changed and how they perceived you as standoffish in high school, use it as an opportunity for self-growth and not defensiveness. It's true. You are a little standoffish, you just don't pay attention to it. I challenge you to take notice. Be kinder and less catty. One day you will look back and think 'how dumb of me to judge so-and-so'. You will grow up to work in the helping field and you will have daily practice with non-judgement and compassion..why not start in high school where people around you are hurting and could use a gentle smile and helping hand. 

I'll always be here with you in memory, and I'll try to be better for you everyday. Growth won't always be easy or painless, but I will be there to guide you, one step at a time.

Lots of love,
Me 

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