Musings of an 80's Baby

I can do all things, no not through Christ, but through my own enduring soul. There are days, weeks even months where it might feel like no I can't do all things, I can't even do one small thing, but still I persist. The greatest threat to success is my own doubt and lethargy; since doubt and lethargy exist only in my head, I have the power to disrupt them. I might stare at a pair of jeans that fit my ass perfectly last fall and now won't zip up and hear the little voice in my brain viciously attacking. I might open up an incomplete document at work and the critical thoughts might scatter across my forehead like commuters in traffic. For an outwardly chill and confident person, I might not seem like I deal with the burden of negative self-talk. Imagine being at the gym at the squat rack, trying to push back up after you put on way too much weight. It feels like your body is physically incapable, it feels panicky and mostly it feels like someone is watching and laughing at t

Let's talk about life as it was 10 years back. What kind of Gagan was the world dealing with a decade ago? Tall, lanky, freshly faced with independence and adulthood. Its Fall time and a nervous energy starts taking over. What is college going to be like? Will I make friends? Is homesickness going to consume me? On day one of moving into the dorms, another tall lanky Punjabi girl comes up to me and out of nowhere knows exactly who I am, where I'm coming from and feels we have too much in common to not be friends - fast forward 10 years and she marries her college sweetheart, all of us day one dorm girls celebrating with her. Living on an all girls floor of the dorms - rushing to class, skipping class to sleep, making lifelong friends - all of it is a blur of laughs, stress, and occasional drama. We get in food fights, covering the walls of our dorm in chocolate syrup and ketchup. We drive to Denny's at 3am, two people stuffed into the trunk, ordering cheese fries until ou