I Can Do All Things

I can do all things, no not through Christ, but through my own enduring soul. There are days, weeks even months where it might feel like no I can't do all things, I can't even do one small thing, but still I persist. The greatest threat to success is my own doubt and lethargy; since doubt and lethargy exist only in my head, I have the power to disrupt them. I might stare at a pair of jeans that fit my ass perfectly last fall and now won't zip up and hear the little voice in my brain viciously attacking. I might open up an incomplete document at work and the critical thoughts might scatter across my forehead like commuters in traffic. For an outwardly chill and confident person, I might not seem like I deal with the burden of negative self-talk. Imagine being at the gym at the squat rack, trying to push back up after you put on way too much weight. It feels like your body is physically incapable, it feels panicky and mostly it feels like someone is watching and laughing at the gym rookie who obviously doesn't know what she's doing.

So how do I go from the painful squat situation to flipping off the person laughing at me in the gym who turns out to be my own self-doubt? I tell myself, 'I can do all things'. It is a lot easier said than done. There's a certain comfort in apathy. But when I feel plagued by disinterest in my own self-interest, that's when its time to fight back. If the jeans don't fit anymore maybe I need to get back to the gym or maybe I just need to sack the body-image issue head on before it gets a chance to make a play. I have to be my own best defensive end, sacking the shit out of that negativity. And yes, for healthy living purposes I need to gym too but not because of the damn jeans.

What are some things that help ease the traffic of critical thoughts? Surrounding myself with positive people who take me through the carpool lane, whizzing passed the bitter critic. We can all think of at least one person who's entire being is filled with genuine warmth that spreads to you just by being in their vicinity. More importantly we all have that warmth within ourselves too, even if it is quelled by the harshness at times, its still there waiting to provide solace on a particularly dreary day. We also have the option to count the blessings instead of counting the reasons to sulk. It may seem too therapy-y to actively replace negative thoughts with affirming ones, but there's a reason that cognitive behavior therapy shit is so successful.

I'll make a vow with you right here and now while you are reading, I vow to choose momentum over lethargy. I vow to give away the fuxking jeans and also choose my health as a motivator instead of the image of a "perfect" body. I vow to continue to write when it feels like the words won't form any other way. I vow to let go of the criticism and make room for more self-love. I vow to choose to surround myself with real ones who push me to challenge the doubt. I hope you take some time today to make some vows to yourself too.