[GUUUUUHHHHH-GIIIIINNNNNN]
Once upon a time there was a little brown girl who's name nobody could pronounce. She grew up wishing she had a name like 'Elizabeth', something easy and cool and not so different. This little girl dreaded anytime her teachers were out because that meant a substitute would butcher her name. Many a times this little girl turned bright red and raised her hand before the sub even got around to calling her name. Usually this happened because there was such a long drawn out pause from the sub, staring down at the attendance roster like it was written in hieroglyphics. The little girl knew that meant her name was next on the list and she politely raised her hand, making the sub's life much easier. She wasn't the only little girl in her school with a different name. Many of the children around her had names that came from all over the world, but not so many from where her family came from.
The struggle of her name was one she carried with her for a long time. Even at her high school graduation, where she was one of the Valedictorians, she had to write her name phonetically with all kinds of parentheses and dashes like it was an official pronunciation she could find in the Dictionary. The little girl grew up to be a smart and independent adult. She moved to a big new city because she just got her first job. She was smiling because she felt like she was starting a fresh chapter in her life. She wanted everyone at her new work to like her a lot so she walked in with a bounce in her step to go with her pearly white smile. The first person she saw smiled back at her and it made her feel good.
"Hi, what's your name?" The girl at the front desk asked.
All of a sudden the big, smart and independent girl hesitated. "My name is..Gagan," she said quietly.
The girl at the desk looked at her quizzically, with her brows furrowed and her head tilted slightly to the right.
"Huh? Gaygen? Do you have a nickname?" the girl asked. Now it might seem like the little girl who grew into the big girl in the big city with the big girl job would say something breezy like 'nope, the name is Gagan' but instead she shrugged.
"No? No nickname huh? What about GG?" the front desk girl wasn't being rude or trying to be difficult so the girl nodded with a half smile, "Sure, GG is fine." Maybe "GG" was okay since it felt like a shorter version of her name. Maybe she would get used to it.
Deep down the little girl from her past popped up in her head and that little girl realized she would live her entire life with the struggle of people wishing it was easier to pronounce her name and trying to change it into something easy for them to pronounce. At first when someone called out to her at work she had no idea who they were referring to. "GG" was an alias. It wasn't who she felt like on the inside, even though she signed her emails with this alias. One day, while she was riding in a car, someone asked her what the meaning of her name was and this filled her with joy. She loved telling people the meaning of her name because her mom had always told her it meant 'beautiful blue sky'. She felt pride whenever she explained the meaning and origin of her name. Something about the stranger asking her about her name made her realize she didn't really like being called "GG". It didn't feel like her and it didn't have a beautiful meaning. The next day when she went back to work she changed her email signature to "Gagan" and making this change emboldened her to tell people to call her by her full name. People struggled, and still do, with the pronunciation. Some coworkers were so used to "GG" that she let them get away with sticking to it.
The little girl who was so embarrassed by people mispronouncing her name was all grown up. She didn't care anymore if she had to repeat her name three times before people nodded like they understood even when they didn't. She didn't mind if people mumbled her name, afraid of saying it wrong. She was finally okay with not having a name like 'Elizabeth'. Whenever she met someone new she stuck her hand out and said, "Gagan, nice to meet you" with a firm handshake. Never again would she shy away. So much of her history, her family and culture was in her name. The entirety of the sky with glorious sunrises and deeply soothing sunsets were described by her name. She was proud of being 'beautiful blue sky' and she would own it for the rest of her life.
Gagan
[GUUUUUHHHHH-GIIIIINNNNNN]
The struggle of her name was one she carried with her for a long time. Even at her high school graduation, where she was one of the Valedictorians, she had to write her name phonetically with all kinds of parentheses and dashes like it was an official pronunciation she could find in the Dictionary. The little girl grew up to be a smart and independent adult. She moved to a big new city because she just got her first job. She was smiling because she felt like she was starting a fresh chapter in her life. She wanted everyone at her new work to like her a lot so she walked in with a bounce in her step to go with her pearly white smile. The first person she saw smiled back at her and it made her feel good.
"Hi, what's your name?" The girl at the front desk asked.
All of a sudden the big, smart and independent girl hesitated. "My name is..Gagan," she said quietly.
The girl at the desk looked at her quizzically, with her brows furrowed and her head tilted slightly to the right.
"Huh? Gaygen? Do you have a nickname?" the girl asked. Now it might seem like the little girl who grew into the big girl in the big city with the big girl job would say something breezy like 'nope, the name is Gagan' but instead she shrugged.
"No? No nickname huh? What about GG?" the front desk girl wasn't being rude or trying to be difficult so the girl nodded with a half smile, "Sure, GG is fine." Maybe "GG" was okay since it felt like a shorter version of her name. Maybe she would get used to it.
Deep down the little girl from her past popped up in her head and that little girl realized she would live her entire life with the struggle of people wishing it was easier to pronounce her name and trying to change it into something easy for them to pronounce. At first when someone called out to her at work she had no idea who they were referring to. "GG" was an alias. It wasn't who she felt like on the inside, even though she signed her emails with this alias. One day, while she was riding in a car, someone asked her what the meaning of her name was and this filled her with joy. She loved telling people the meaning of her name because her mom had always told her it meant 'beautiful blue sky'. She felt pride whenever she explained the meaning and origin of her name. Something about the stranger asking her about her name made her realize she didn't really like being called "GG". It didn't feel like her and it didn't have a beautiful meaning. The next day when she went back to work she changed her email signature to "Gagan" and making this change emboldened her to tell people to call her by her full name. People struggled, and still do, with the pronunciation. Some coworkers were so used to "GG" that she let them get away with sticking to it.
The little girl who was so embarrassed by people mispronouncing her name was all grown up. She didn't care anymore if she had to repeat her name three times before people nodded like they understood even when they didn't. She didn't mind if people mumbled her name, afraid of saying it wrong. She was finally okay with not having a name like 'Elizabeth'. Whenever she met someone new she stuck her hand out and said, "Gagan, nice to meet you" with a firm handshake. Never again would she shy away. So much of her history, her family and culture was in her name. The entirety of the sky with glorious sunrises and deeply soothing sunsets were described by her name. She was proud of being 'beautiful blue sky' and she would own it for the rest of her life.
Gagan
[GUUUUUHHHHH-GIIIIINNNNNN]
Comments
Post a Comment